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HELP, I CAN’T FORGIVE MYSELF  

John  

MEMORY VERSE

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God”

Romans 8: 39  

The New York Times recently told a humorous and serious story.  A taxi driver stopped to pick up someone and asked him, “Well, sir, where do you want to go?” The man said, “Drive me back about four years.”  

Would you like to go back and change some things?  To forgive yourself takes high courage.  Self-righteous people don’t want you to forgive yourself. They want you to walk under the umbrella of permanent shame.   

Turn with me please to St. John  21, verses one through nineteen I would like to begin with two questions?  

Have you ever felt like you let someone down?  

A spouse, a boss teammate, friend.  It’s not the best feeling in the world. Especially if you boasted that they could depend on you.  A second question is

 “Have you ever let yourself down?”

 Both are tied together.  Imagine how Peter felt after boasting that he would never leave Jesus.  In John 18 Peter is standing outside by a warm charcoal fire.  Three times he was recognized, three times he had an opportunity to make a bold stance for the Lord.  Three times he failed.  When the rooster crowed twice, he knew he was a bona fide failure.  He cried and wept bitterly.  Often we end up doing the same thing as Peter.  We start with the best of intentions.  We are excited and we want to succeed.  But we have setbacks.  Make bad decisions.  We feel like a failure and we can’t forgive ourselves.  We absorb failure and it gets inside of us.  We can’t forgive ourselves.   

But Peter turned his failure around. In this gospel of John we read that Jesus reaches out to Peter, takes the initiative and invited Peter to breakfast.  In the same way, Jesus is calling us.  We are struggling and beating ourselves up over the past.  We are stuck in our guilt.  Jesus says, as he did, to Peter, “Come to breakfast.”  Jesus is inviting you.  Yet, we have barriers that we place up that we can’t break through. Peter could have refused the invitation to breakfast.  He could have said, “I’m not going to risk it.” But he didn’t.  And you don’t need to stay away, either.  

After the meal, Jesus turns to Peter, singles him out and says, “Peter, come over here.  I want to talk with you.” I wonder what Peter was thinking.  Was Jesus going to bring up the three denials?  Maybe Peter feared the day when Jesus might say, “Peter, why did you let me down?”But Jesus goal was to remove Peter’s guilt and shame.  To take out the ache in his heart.  By another charcoal fire, Christ was giving Peter another chance to prove himself.  Jesus was not looking at Peter’s past, but looking toward his future.  Jesus is not concerned with Peter’s resume, but he is concerned with his redemption.  Three times Jesus asks him, “Do you love me?” Peter says,  "Lord, you know that I do.”  

I would like to share with you Five Life Lessons on Forgiving Yourself  

LIFE LESSON ONE

Everyone fails.  In Romans we read,  

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  

As someone once said, “The church is not a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners.”  

Peter failed.  We all failed and we must acknowledge that.  

LIFE LESSON TWO  

No matter what, Jesus is still your friend,  

In John 21:5 Jesus calls the disciples “Friends.”  

Peter had denied Jesus when it counted.  Yet Jesus cooked breakfast for him.  No matter how you have failed, Jesus still wants to be your friend.  He still wants to sit down with you and work it out.   

LIFE LESSON THREE  

Make a decision to forgive yourself. 
God has taken the initiative to reach out to you through Jesus Christ.  Now, you must make a choice to receive His forgiveness. 

LIFE LESSON FOUR

In Forgiving Yourself, you must, confront, admit and confess your sin.
When Peter first denied Jesus three times, he was standing by a charcoal fire by night.  I want to point thisout to you because I want to see how Jesus set up the circumstances.  There are only two reference to “fire” John 18 and John 28: 39 in the gospel of John.  This is not a coincidence.  On the night of the denial, Peter warned himself in darkness by a charcoal fire.  Now, in John 21, he finds himself warmed by a fire at sunrise with Jesus.   

How many times did Peter deny Jesus? Three times.
How many times did Jesus ask Peter about his love for him?  Three times  

God’s word promises, “If we confess our sins, He is able and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  I John 1:9  

We must confront, admit and confess.  

LIFE LESSON NUMBER FIVE  

Jesus still has a purpose and mission for your life.
Peter denied Jesus.  Jesus let him know he could still be a great leader.  Forgive yourself.  God has something for you to do.  Romans 8:39 says, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God” Nothing…  

As we look at Peter, we also remember Judas.  What would have happened if Judas, who also, in his own way, denied and betrayed the Lord, would have come back to Jesus, as Peter did.  If Judas would have come back, he could have written the greatest gospel of all, the Gospel according to Judas, a gospel about forgiveness.  Many people are like Judas.  Their life is buried in the unforgiveness they hold toward themselves and others.   

Join me in praying this prayer to close this message with you, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, sinner.”

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